Love and Loss
by PrisonerPadfoot
Summary: After twelve years of separation, two lovers are blissfully, and briefly, reunited.
1. Chapter 1

With her mousy brown hair billowing annoyingly out in the breeze, Cassiopeia Rencher descended the stone steps of Hogwarts with her friend Lily Evans at her side. Classes were done for the day and the two girls wanted to get an early start at their homework, but they had concluded that the weather was simply too pleasant to be locked up in Gryffindor Tower. And so, shoving all of their scattered paperwork into the pages of their textbooks, they had decided to scout out a spot on the grounds where they could get their work done under the warm May sunshine.

" So where do you want to sit?" Cassie asked. There were very few choices from which they could choose. Almost all of the shade trees had been claimed by others trying to complete school assignments, while most of the sunnier spots were taken by students amusing themselves with Frisbees.

Lily gave a throaty snort and jerked her head to the left. "Anywhere but over there." she said.

Cassie followed the direction of Lily's intense glare to find that she was staring at one of the larger shade trees, under which sat four boys in their house: Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, and Sirius Black. Remus and Peter were intently peering over a large textbook that was laying open in Remus' lap. Remus appeared to be trying to explain something written on that particular page to Peter, alternating between running his finger back and forth across the text and turning to speak to his obviously confused friend, who gave a few feeble nods of understanding. Sirius and James were laying on their sides engaged in a very intense game of exploding snap, lost in conversation.

" Well, three out of the four of them aren't that bad," Cassie laughed. James had become increasingly annoying towards Lily during their sixth year and she was now doing everything in her power to try and ignore him.

" Come on, let's go sit by the edge of the lake," said Lily, heading off to her right. Cassie however didn't follow and instead stepped off in the direction of the four friends sitting beneath the large tree.

" I'll be right there. I just want to say hello. I won't be long." She had just turned her back on Lily when she began to laugh, causing Cassie to about face. "What?"

" I still can't believe it."

"Believe what?" Cassie asked, cocking her head.

" _You. _And_ him." _

Cassie smiled, knowing exactly what her friend was talking about. "_What?_ Why not? He's a nice guy, isn't he?"

Rolling her eyes, Lily said nothing. After she had turned and continued on down to the lake's edge, Cassie went on her way to greeting the four boys. As she neared them she caught the eye of both Remus and James, to who she gave a wink and pressed her forefinger to her lips, shushing them. She then quietly kneeled down behind Sirius, leering at James as he put a hand to his mouth to keep from laughing.

She quickly brought her hands around Sirius' head to cover his eyes. He lifted up a hand to grasp one of hers as she asked, "Guess who?"

"Hmmm….let me see…." he said, stroking his chin thoughtfully, "Raspy voice, terribly annoying way of saying hello…"

"Hey!" she said, removing her hands from his eyes and placing them on her hips. "Excuse me, Mr. Black, but my voice is _not_ raspy!"

The other three boys tried to control their maniac laughter as Sirius sat up straight and spun around to look into the beautiful face of the girl he had called his friend for the past five years and had as his lover for the past two. He then cupped her chin in his hand and guided her lips close to his own.

" You know I'm joking, Cass." he said, leaning in and kissing her softly. Unfortunately, their moment of intimacy was cut short by James, who had taken it upon himself to chuck a game piece at the side of Sirius' head. It hit his left temple with a terrible thud, then bounced off and landed at his feet. Massaging the spot James had hit, Sirius broke away from Cassie, cursing under his breath.

"Take it easy lover boy, you might hurt yourself." said James, looking over at Remus and Peter, who were in stitches.

"Just because the girl you're after doesn't like you doesn't mean you have to take your frustration out on me," Sirius hissed, picking up the piece that had struck him and chucking it back at his best friend, who put up his forearms to shield his face. "Come on, Cassie," Sirius then grabbed Cassie's hand and sprang to his feet, dragging her along with him as he jogged off to the right, turning the corner so they could walk down the other, fairly deserted side of the castle. He then pulled her into a spacious alcove in which stood an enormous stone gargoyle. He spun her around and gently pressed her against the wall to resume their broken kiss, placing his hands on her hips as she wrapped her arms about his neck.

Sirius and Cassie had become friends in their second year at Hogwarts mainly because of James' undying quest to gain Lily Evans' loving attention. Both had been at their friends' sides when James had made his first move on Lily. He had smugly asked her if she'd like to go out with him, only to be harshly rejected. Sirius had rolled his eyes at Cassie from behind James' back and she had returned the gesture. As Lily turned and quickly walked away with James en tow, they were left alone to start up a conversation of their own, which led to the beginning of a beautiful friendship. After awhile Cassie had become friends with Remus and Peter, and lastly James, who she realized was not all that bad to be around when he was not drooling over Lily.

Cassie had basically become one of the boys, just another person to rough house or cause a commotion in a boring class with. But at the end of their fourth year, Sirius' attitude toward her began to change. He had become much more courteous, offering her his chair when the common room was especially crowded instead of just making her sit down on the floor like he had, picking up her quills when she dropped them, and offering to help her with Transfiguration, a class in which he was much more skilled than she. She also noticed that he continually failed to meet her eyes, a habit which only became worse as they entered their fifth year. Cassie had dwelled upon the idea that he may be developing feelings for her, but dismissed his behavior as him growing more mature, a polite gentleman instead of a boy. But that still didn't explain why he couldn't look her in the eye anymore, bringing her back to the idea that he might be seeing her as more than just a friend…

Pondering on the subject, Cassie concluded that it wouldn't be so horrible if he really did see her in a new light. After all, hadn't he been her friend through thick and thin for three years? Been there for her to talk to when nobody else would listen? And not to mention that he wasundeniably handsome. But she could not, and would not, dare bring the subject of romance up with him. What if she completely wrong and ruined their friendship? But just before Valentine's Day of their fifth year Sirius did what by then Cassie was secretly hoping he would do. He had asked her on a date for their Valentine's Day trip to Hogsmeade, assuring her that if things did not feel right that they could go on just being friends. He had explained that ever since the year before he felt differently about her, and if he did not at least make an attempt at asking her out he would have regretted it for a long, long time. She had happily accepted, admitting to him that she was beginning to like for more than what he was, making him flush a light red.

Their date had gone off without a hitch. For most of the day they had found themselves in the Three Broomsticks, holding hands over the table, talking like old friends had a way of doing. Near the end of the day, just as they exited the pub, it had began to rain, so they, like many others, lingered under the pub's awning waiting for the downpour to fade. It was there, standing outside listening to the rain hit the cobblestone that they had shared their first kiss, and as they say, the rest was history. It had been bliss ever since.

As their kiss ended, Sirius closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers, briefly sliding his hand up under her shirt and brushing her side with his fingertips, making her emit a sighing laugh.

" I have to go," Cassie said, gently pushing him away, "Lily's going to think I ditched her,"

Sirius sighed in defeat and they walked hand in hand back around the corner from whence they came. Sirius reclaimed his seat under the large shade tree where his friends still sat, watching dreamily as Cassie walked down to the lake, her hips swinging gently, skirt playing about her thighs. He couldn't help but think how lucky he was to have her as friend, and as a lover.

**A/N: **Ill have chapter 2 up soon...


	2. Chapter 2

After Cassiopeia Black's husband was sent to Azkaban, 'emotional train wreck' were the only words she could find to properly describe her state of mind. She simply couldn't believe that the man she had known and loved for so long could be a cruel, heartless murderer. And more so, she couldn't believe that he had _laughed_ as they incarcerated him, as if the lives of his three friends and all the others meant absolutely nothing to him.

He had betrayed Lily and James to Voldemort, and it was only by a miracle that their son, Harry, survived. Sirius had also murdered Peter Pettigrew along with many other innocent people, but there had never been any forewarning that he had turned to serve the Dark Lord. There had been no change for the worse in his attitude, he still continued to serve the Order (_he could have been a spy, though, _she thought), and if he really was a Death Eater, why had she never seen his Dark Mark? The whole situation seemed completely surreal. At times she couldn't help but think that it all was just some terrible nightmare and that eventually she would wake up and everything would be back to the way it had been. But for weeks the image of Sirius on the night of the Potters' murders had been the real nightmare, the way he had left without a word and left her on their front step to cry over the deaths of their best friends replaying itself in her dreams night after night.

It was also extremely tiresome dealing with members of her family who constantly harped on her to 'divorce and drop the bastard's name,' and to 'find someone decent' to take his place. But she found that she didn't want to do either of those things. For reasons she couldn't express, she believed, opposed to dozens of muggle witnesses, that her husband was not a murderer, nor was he a Death Eater, and most definitely not a traitor to his friends. There must be unknown truths behind the known, truths that could change the whole sequence of events from upside-down and topsy-turvy to right-side up and correct. She hoped that one day she would find herself correct in her thinking, but for now there was nothing but confusion and heartbreak.

And then there were the members of the Ministry and of the press who hounded her almost nonstop for months. Numerous times Aurors from the Ministry had appeared at her doorstep with a search warrant which authorized them to go and rummage through Sirius' things looking for Dark objects. They had asked her not to disturb anything in the house until after their inspections were complete, which wound up taking three weeks. They had, of course, uncovered absolutely nothing. The Minister himself had visited her thrice, trying to comfort her while also interrogating her on her husband's involvement with Death Eaters. For his first two visits she had politely told him that she knew about nothing of the sort, but the third time, sick of him asking her questions that she could not answer dozens of times over, she finally lost her temper and ordered him to leave. He had surprisingly done what he was told without a word, looking fearful as she slammed the door behind him with an angry huff. Almost everyday a different reporter appeared at her doorstep or came tumbling out of her fireplace, most of them working for the Daily Prophet. But regardless of where they worked, they all wanted the same thing, an interview that would make her husband look like more of a monster than he was already thought to be, a tragic story of a maniac husband and a tortured wife. But she refused to entertain them for even a second, leaving them to throw questions such as _Had Sirius been an abusive man, _and _Had he ever pressured you to join the Dark Lord also?_, as she forcibly kicked them out of the house.

Eventually it came to the point where Cassie no longer wished to live in the house that she and Sirius had once shared. She didn't want to live where the Ministry and the press could find her and where there would be neighbors, both muggle and wizarding, that would lend her comforting words and evil glares that she didn't want or need. It took a while for the house to be sold, but when it was, Cassie was able to buy a quaint little home in the north of Scotland. It was one-story and relatively small, though more than enough for one person. It was separated from the surrounding woods and the nearby dirt road by a fence of high box hedges, and in the back there was a garden that Cassie kept magically stunning all year long. She had told only her closest friends, including the lycanthropic Remus Lupin, where they could find her should they ever want to visit.

She had lived there peacefully, returning to England sparingly to visit relatives and friends, and to do a fair amount of shopping. But she had not stepped foot on the cobblestone streets of Diagon Alley until it came time for her godson's eleventh birthday, the age he would begin attending Hogwarts. It was Hagrid she saw first, towering over the bustling crowd, looking as cheerful as ever. But as he drew near to where she sat just outside Florean Fetescue's, she could see that Harry was jogging alongside him, trying desperately to keep up with his enormous strides. He looked so much like his father it was almost painful, but his brilliant emerald eyes were a beautiful credit to his mother. His legendary scar was veiled by his unruly hair that hung haphazardly over his forehead.

"Hagrid, so good to see you again," Cassie said, rising from her seat as they stopped to greet her.

"Cass', it's be'n such a lon' time." he sniffled, pulling her into a warm yet suffocating bear-hug. She took a deep breath as he released her and put a hand an Harry's shoulder. " This is Harry."

"Hello, Harry. I'm Cassiopeia…Rencher, and you have no idea how pleased I am to see you again." she said, thinking at the last moment that it would be best to use her maiden name. His godfather's story was better left for another day, perhaps even another year, when he was older. Had he somehow heard the name Black tied to a murderer before, she did not feel it proper to divulge any information to him just yet, especially the part about Sirius having supposedly betrayed his parents to the Dark Lord. The poor boy had enough to deal with as it was.

Cassie extended her hand for her godson to shake. His grip was oddly limp and she could plainly see confusion in his blazing green eyes as he looked curiously into her own dull brown ones.

" Pleased to me you," he said politely, "But, I can't say that I remember meeting you before."

Cassie smiled warmly, clearly remembering the last time that she saw him at his

his christening, wrapped in a blanket with his mother cradling him in her arms. " I wouldn't expect you to remember. You were barely a year old then. You see, Harry," she said, pausing awkwardly for a moment, "I'm your godmother."

Harry's eyes went wide at her words, his jaw falling open in disbelief. He looked briefly up at Hagrid as if to make sure the woman standing before him was indeed in her right mind to say such a thing. Hagrid gave a solemn nod, twirling his pink umbrella wand through his fingers. Harry turned back to Cassie and smiled, seeming at a loss for words.

Cassie gave a solitary laugh. Standing dumbfounded the way he was, Harry seemed too adorable for words. " Come on," she said, beckoning both he and Hagrid to follow her, "we have to get you prepared for school, don't we? We can talk while we walk."

As they proceeded, Harry stayed at his godmother's side while Hagrid remained close behind, taking in their conversation.

" If you're my godmother," Harry began, threading his fingers through his hair, allowing Cassie to see his scar for the first time which sent a ghostly chill down her spine, "then how come I didn't meet you sooner?"

" Well, I'm a witch, Harry. Now, you didn't know you were a wizard until a short time ago, right?" she paused, allowing him time to nod in agreement, "In order for you to meet me sooner, you would have had to be introduced to magic sooner, and none of us who care about you, including myself, and your soon-to-be Headmaster, and Hagrid, " she added at his snort, "thought that that would have been best for you, given your situation. But we've met now, haven't we?"

He gave a small grin and nodded. "You must have known my parents very well," he said, letting his grin fade and looking miserably down at his feet.

" I did. Your mother and I were the best of friends. I was pretty close to your father, too. And if you don't mind me saying it, you look everything like him, Harry."

He said nothing as they continued, seemingly unaware that most everyone who neared him was either gawking, or whispering or pointing, or doing a combination of all three. Cassie knew that it must have been difficult for him to absorb so much information all at once. In just one day he had learned that he was a wizard, that he would be attending a wizarding boarding school, how he had really received that scar on his forehead, and probably most importantly he learned that, even though she was not related to him by blood, he still had one living relative that cared about him and to whom he could look up to.

When they reached Olivander's wand shop, Cassie left the two to wait for their turn in line, only to return just as Harry received his wand, surprising him with a beautiful snowy owl that could accompany him to school. After their shopping was completely finished, Cassie, ignoring Hagrid's polite refusal, treated them both to dinner. The conversation that accompanied the meal mostly consisted of Harry recalling his life with the Dursley's at Cassie's request. But the tables were then turned and Harry began to question his godmother, asking her everything from what his parents where like to where she lived. She answered with complete honesty until, however, he reached the one question that she was silently hoping he would not think to ask.

" Out of curiosity," he said, pushing the remnants of his salad back and forth on his plate, " I wouldn't happen to have a godfather, would I?"

Cassie dropped her fork and looked up at Hagrid, who widened his eyes and looked away. "Well, yes, you do." she said nervously, noticing that Harry's eyes had lit up, " He's my husband….but I don't think you'll be seeing him for awhile, none of us will…But that story's for another day, Harry. Sorry."

He nodded, looking put down, but to Cassie's relief deciding not to push the subject. "Cassie?" he asked with a heavy sigh, prompting her to ask him what was troubling him. " If you're my godmother, than why was I left with the Dursleys? Shouldn't I be with you if my parents trusted you enough to make you my godmother?"

Cassie's heart dropped. After hearing his horrible stories about life with his aunt, uncle, and cousin, Cassie wanted nothing more then to be the one to take him home at the end of the day, to give him the loving home that he deserved and to try her best to fill the place Lily had once held in his life. But she knew if she wanted him to be truly safe while away from Hogwarts, that was impossible.

" I really wish you could be with me, Harry. But you can't. Should anything happen, you're safe while you're with the Dursleys. Your mother died to save you. She didn't have to die, but she did. For you. You're safe while you're in a house where your mother's bloodline dwells. That safety is something I can't give you."

Harry put down his fork and pushed away his plate, giving a nod that said he understood. When dinner was over, Cassie stayed behind as the two traveled back into the muggle world, but not before pulling Harry into a hug and promising him that she would be there to see him off on his first day of school, and be there for his return when the school year was over.

**A/N**: The next chapter soon...


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to some careful eavesdropping in the Three Broomsticks during his third year of school, Harry Potter came to realize that his godfather was none other than Sirius Black, a famous murderer and Death Eater who over the summer had claimed the title of the first person to escape Azkaban. With that information also came the fact that Sirius had betrayed his parents to Voldemort, and the realization that his godmother, Cassie _Black, _who no longer used her maiden name of Rencher as she had told him,had known it all along, yet she still withheld the information from him for nearly three years.

Cassie had received a rather disturbing letter from Harry right before Sirius had somehow found his way into Gryffindor Tower and slashed the curtains that surrounded Ronald Weasley's bed, an event that worried her to no end. What if Sirius really was a Death Eater and was now bent on killing their godson? Nothing seemed to make sense in to her. She would've given just about anything for a look inside Sirius' mind, just to see what was really going on.

Harry's letter, that was messily addressed to Mrs. C. Black, had a terribly hostile air and mainly had one point: Why hadn't she told him any of this before? Did she think that he was too immature to deal with such information? Cassie wrote back as quickly as she could, apologizing for keeping him in the dark about his godfather, and that no, she did not think he was too young to know the truth. She told him that it was a dark time, and that she merely did not wish to recall it, and in turn she never informed him about it. But while that was all she wrote, that wasn't all she wanted to tell him. How could she possibly tell him, against all facts, that it was still difficult for her to believe that Sirius was the evil man that the media and the Ministry claimed him to be? How could she possibly explain on paper, or even in person for that matter, the unbreakable bond of friendship that Sirius and James had shared, and how unbelievable it was for Sirius to have betrayed his best friend rather than to have taken the secret of the Potters' location to his grave?

Harry gave no reply to her letter, leaving her rather downtrodden. Thinking him angry and unwilling to talk, Cassie didn't bother to travel to Platform 9 ¾ to see him off the train, and it wasn't until a week into July that she heard from him again, this time with Remus Lupin as his messenger. Remus appeared at her doorstep around noon on a unusually warm, muggy Saturday afternoon, an envelope clasped in his left hand. He looked considerably worse from the last time Cassie had seen him, with his hair showing much more gray and the only decent thing he was wearing being his smile. His robes looked just about ready for the garbage heap.

Cassie sat him down at the kitchen table, placing a cup of tea in front of him as she asked to what occasion she owed the pleasure of his company. As she sat down, he slid the envelope to her from across the table, his grin momentarily disappearing into his teacup. As she picked it up and turned it over in her hands, she saw that it's backside was blank, bearing neither her name nor a return address.

"It's from Harry," said Remus, putting his cup down in its saucer, "He was going to owl it to you, but I offered to deliver it personally. I told him since I had to speak with you anyway, I might as well take it."

Sliding her red-nailed index finger under the sealed flap, Cassie opened the envelope and removed the letter. She read it over twice, but both times the last lines of the first paragraph left her completely stumped.

_I'm sorry for not answering your last letter. I was mad, and I guess I overreacted a little. But it's fine now. In fact, it's better than it was. I know the truth now, and I guess soon you will, too. _

The rest of the letter was a recap on the school year, telling her of his accomplishment of producing a corporeal Patronus, the Quidditch final, how most of the school was in agreement that Professor R.J. Lupin was the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher they had ever had, and so on.

"Remus, do you know what he's talking about? I--I don't understand." she said, folding the letter back up along its creases.

Remus smiled sagely, surfacing the forming wrinkles around his tired eyes. "Yes, in fact I do. That's why I've come to see you."

As Remus told her of the truths that had been revealed to Harry and his friends in the Shrieking Shack, Cassie felt as though her world had been completely turned upside down. After all of these years, it had been Peter Pettigrew who had joined the Death Eaters and betrayed the Potters' to Voldemort. Peter had been the one to murder thirteen people on a crowded London Street and fake his own death, leaving nothing behind but his severed finger. Knowing what no one but he and Peter knew after Lily and James' death, Sirius had tracked Peter down and was forced to take the blame for deaths he was not cause of.

"And all this while he was hiding as a Weasley family pet," said Remus.

"Scabbers?" she asked, getting a nod in response. "Oh my God…after---after all this time he was right under our noses…I--I can't believe it! Well what happened to him! Did you get the bastard!" Cassie's tone was steadily increasing in anger, anger that a person who she once called her friend was the cause of her friends' deaths and the reason her husband had been in prison for twelve years.

"Well--" said Remus, averting his eyes and squirming in his seat, "at first we were going to kill him…but Harry didn't think that was right. So we bound him up and were going to turn him in…but…" he said uncomfortably, his face flushing, " I forgot it was a full moon that night…I transformed, and he got away in the confusion. I'm sorry, Cassie."

" Don't apologize," she said, bringing her hand to her face, trying unsuccessfully to hide the fact that her eyes were beginning to overflow with tears. " I thought I was crazy all these years," she continued, her voice squeaking through her sobs, " I thought I was insane for thinking that there was no way in Hell Sirius could have ever betrayed them. I thought I was mad for still caring about him…"

Remus rose from his chair to kneel down at her side, taking her hand in his. " It's all right, Cassie. You're not mad. If anything, you were the only sane one." she looked down at him curiously, wiping dry her eyes with the back of her hand, " We were all mad for thinking he _would _have ever betrayed James and Lily."

Scooting her chair back, Cassie rose to her feet, and Remus did the same. Managing to smile, she pulled him into a friendly hug. " Thank you, Remus."

" Don't thank me." he said, putting his hands in his pockets. " You know Cassie, he still loves you, too."

" He does?" Cassie said, her eyes starting to water again.

" Yes. He asked me about you. Asked if you were all right. He said he'd give anything to see you."

" I'd give anything to see him."

Remus nodded, smiling. " I can talk to him for you. He's hiding in the mountains on Dumbledore's advice. I'll tell him you miss him and that he should visit."

" Oh, thank you, Remus." she said, once again pulling him into a hug, "Thank you so much."

And as she saw him out the door, Cassie felt a strong sense of relief. Her gut-feelings had been right all along. The man she loved was not a murderer, but merely a victim. It felt wonderful to finally know the truth about what had happened all those years ago, but she supposed that knowing that Sirius still cared for her was even more of a wonderful thing.

"Sirius," Remus Lupin said harshly, looking down at his long-time friend who was sitting in the corner of the cave with his back to the wall, his held low, embracing his bent knees. " Didn't you hear a word I said?"

" I heard you, Remus." Sirius replied lazily, closing his eyes and throwing back his head. "But I'm not sure anymore...I mean, after all these years, what do I do? Just waltz up to her doorstep like nothing happened? Like twelve years haven't passed?"

"Sirius, I don't think she'd like anything more than that. You should've seen her face, you should have seen her cry. Even after all of this, after all these years, she _loves_ you. _Loves you, _Sirius. She never lost hope in you. She didn't believe, even when the rest of us did, that you had joined the Dark Side. You have to go see her. You know you want to. You still love her, don't you?"

Sirius shot Remus a look of pure poison. The question he presented was not one that he should have ever thought to ask. There was no question about whether or not Sirius loved Cassiopeia Rencher-Black, the girl he had fallen in love with when he was just a boy, and the woman he married when he became a man. Not a day went by when he was in prison that he didn't turn his thoughts to her, hoping that she was living a good life, and hoping beyond hope that somehow he would see her again.

How could it be that after all these years she still felt the same love for him? No second husband, no children, and still married to the man who left her on their front step without so much as saying goodbye, the man she had not seen or heard from in twelve years. Even after all of the terrible misgivings about him being a malignant plague on society and his abandonment of her she never thought ill of him. In a way he could not believe it, that Remus must be deceiving him for some twisted reason. But he _wanted_ to believe it, and _did _believe it, because wasn't it true that neither had felt truly complete when they were not with the other? Hadn't they promised they would always be there for each other, no matter what?

" I love her more than anything else in this world." said Sirius, finally cracking a smile.

"And…?" Remus pressed, gesturing for him to continue.

"And, I'm going to pay her a visit. Now where did you say she lives again?"

**A/N: **Next chappie soon as I get a chance to post it...


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Half of its prewritten, half of it isn't. After this, you're going to have to wait.

As he traveled up the stone path leading to Cassie's house, Sirius felt his heart leap up into his throat. His emotions were a tangled mess of anxiousness, happiness, and excitement that seemed to be sucking the life out of him. He felt torn between wanting to sprint the rest of the way to the house and knock vehemently at the door and wanting to turn tail and run. In his hands he was nervously twirling three red roses that were tied together at their stems with a frilly pink bow.

There were four steps lined with potted magnolias leading up to the doorway. Vibrant green vines that grew dark purple flowers had reached up from the ground and twisted themselves elegantly around both of the black metal handrails. Their sweet scent was immensely prevalent and intoxicating, and somehow had a very efficient calming effect on him. He took a deep breath, further slowing his excited heartbeat before grabbing the golden knocker and rapping it loudly against the door.

Cassie had been reading, comfortably curled up on a red wingback chair in the living room when she heard his anxious knocks. The grandfather clock in the hall had just chimed five, an oddly late time for her to receive an unannounced guest. Cassie hurried to the door after placing her book on the coffee table, her long black skirt fluttering out behind her. Taking the key from the gaping mouth of a large ceramic dragon that stood nearby, Cassie unlocked the door and cautiously pulled it open. At first she saw no one behind it, leaving her to think that her ears had somehow deceived her and there had been no caller after all. But as she pulled the door open to its fullest, she looked down to see that seated on her doormat was one of the biggest dogs she had ever seen. It's shaggy black fur was ragged and wild. It's tail was happily thumping the ground, letting fall loose pieces of fur. In its mouth it held three red roses that were tied together in a bow.

Recognition hit her immediately. Her eyes went unnaturally wide at the sight of the animagus canine, her heart hammering against her ribs. In her surprise she took a backward step, catching her foot on the tail of the ceramic dragon and consequently falling roughly on her behind. Seeming to smile, the dog trotted over and gently laid the roses in her lap. She took them in hand and held them close to her heart as, not to her surprise, the dog's outline turned rigid and he became just a bit more human every second until he was no longer. Where he had stood there crouched a gaunt, raven-haired man whose robes were splattered with filth. His cool gray eyes were sunken-in and sad, his smile cracked yet warm. The hand that rested on his left knee was wrapped in a tattered cloth that was stained red with his blood. Seeing the man she had loved for almost all of her life in such a horrid condition brought a tear to her eye.

"S-" she began, but the words seemed to get caught in her throat, their path blocked by the lump that had arisen there. "I don't know what to say."

He gave a fleeting laugh and Cassie couldn't help but smile at him. " How about saying 'hello'?" he asked jokingly. He then extended his uninjured hand to her and helped pull her to her feet.

Taking a long look into his tired eyes, she wrapped her arms around his middle and embraced him, resting her head upon his chest. At first he was tense, apprehensive to return her loving gesture, but after a moment or two he relaxed and hugged her in return, placing his hands at the small of her back. Even though his scent was a ghastly mix of sweat, blood, and decaying earth, she couldn't bear to let him go and instead snuggled deeper into him, relishing his touch for its comfort, yet hating it at the same time for its slightness. Under his clothes he felt like a living skeleton, a layer of skin stretched over protruding bones. She could clearly feel every one of his ribs.

" I can't believe it's really you. It's been so long." she said, her voice wavering. She closed her eyes in attempt to dam the tears that were threatening to pour down her cheeks. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"I never thought I'd see you again, either." he said, briefly touching his dry, cracked lips to her forehead. " But we were both wrong, weren't we?"

"Thank God." she said, taking his hands in hers and stepping away to take in his disheveled appearance. "Look at you…"

"Terrible, aren't I?" he laughed.

"I'll say…You're bleeding…" she said, holding up his injured hand and slowly peeling away the makeshift cloth bandages to reveal a deep slash on his palm. Congealed blood was saturated with the free-flowing fresh that was slowly dripping down his wrist. Jagged pieces of broken skin were clinging to his hand by thin strands. She took in a sharp, hissing breath, repulsed by the severity of it.

" I never was skilled at healing spells." he said matter-of-factly, grinning as Cassie looked up at him, her eyes glistening through their teary glaze.

Sirius watched as she broke away from him to gingerly place the roses he had presented her with in the center of an arrangement of wildflowers that sat on a table opposite an elegant grandfather clock. Closing the front door, he followed her as she proceeded down the hallway and turned the corner, beckoning him. Sirius' ragged reflection appeared in the mirror over the sink as she tossed away his bloody cloth and knelt down to open the cabinet below. From it she pulled a bottle whose cork resembled an overly large band-aid. She poured a bit of the bottle's purple contents onto a cotton ball and stored it back in the cabinet. She then got to her feet and took Sirius' hand, lightly dabbing his wound with the healing solution. He growled as he felt its ruthless cleansing sting.

"Sorry." she said softly, "It stings a bit, but it works fast. Look."

Sirius opened his eyes and looked to his see that his once broken, dead skin was coming alive. It was repairing itself, coming together seamlessly to close his wound. His spilled blood was disappearing right before his eyes, and before long all that was left of his cut was a thin scar.

"You can get cleaned up if you'd like…" she said, disposing of the cotton ball and removing him of his traveling cloak and robes, leaving him with only his suit of convict's stripes. "I'll wash these for you…and you can leave the rest outside the door and I can wash them, too."

He nodded, just then realizing that he couldn't even remember the last time he taken a decent shower. "That'd be nice…I'd feel a lot better…"

She smiled and turned to leave the room, but almost without thinking he had called her name, causing her to whip around with her eyes wide and questioning. He knew what he wanted to say, but the words seemed too far away for him to grasp them. They were those three tiny words that when brought together formed a most powerful saying. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but couldn't find the heart to.

"Thanks," was all he managed to say, and silently cursed himself for it. She smiled and left, closing the door behind her.

After she had picked up the clothes he had left outside the door and given everything a thorough washing, she returned to the bathroom, the sound of rushing water filling her ears even before she pulled the door open. Laying his clothes on the counter, Cassie could see her husband's rough outline in the frosted glass of the shower, his lower region veiled by a towel draped over its rack. All at once, she was overcome by a womanly urge that she had not experienced in years. For a moment all she could think about was standing naked beside him in the shower stall, letting the water wash them clean as they pleasured each other. Feeling a fiery blush begin to rise up in her cheeks, she turned and left, firmly closing the door behind her. No matter how good it felt to have him back, she didn't think that rushing in on him like that would have been a proper thing to do. Not yet.

To Sirius, her brief presence in the room had not gone unnoticed. He had seen her standing there, peering at him with a sideways glance. He wished he could have seen her eyes. He hoped that in them there had been love and longing, and not some putrid form of disgust that had finally risen up in her chest like a demon breaking free of its hellish prison after all these years. Turning off the water, he damned himself for not telling her how he felt, and promising that he would utter those three tiny words that meant so much before the night was over.


	5. Chapter 5

Cassie was sitting at the kitchen table, watching as both food and utensils zoomed around the kitchen at her will, preparing dinner. Just as the chicken had basted and thrown itself onto a roasting pan, Sirius appeared in the doorway, crossing his arms and leaning up against the jamb. Looking at him, Cassie could swear that his eyes, which appeared to be carefully following the chicken as it shoved itself into the oven, had regained a bit of their cheerful shine.

She went to him and ran a hand over his clean-shaven cheek, tucking a few strands of his hair back behind his ear. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, his blood running hot as she leaned in to place a gentle, fleeting kiss upon his lips. All notions that she might resent him because of his absence then disappeared from his mind. There was a warm, sensuous feel that flowed through her lips and into his skin, sending a piercing shiver down his spine and making the hair on his neck stand on end. He placed his forehead down against hers as she took him by his forearms and pulled him close, a smooth sigh escaping her throat.

" You look like you could use a good meal." she said airily, placing a hand to his stomach, which was beginning to growl savagely.

" I certainly could."

" It'll be awhile though," she said, looking up and locking her eyes with his, "Would you want to take a walk in the yard meanwhile?"

" Sure." he gave a brief nod as Cassie smiled lovingly up at him, taking his hand in her own.

Sirius allowed himself to be led outside through the backdoor, only to be greeted by the sight of a thriving garden. As they stepped out onto the stone path that wound its way through the garden, they found themselves surrounded by luscious shades of green from which sprouted odd, yet wonderful flowers. Sirius couldn't help but smile as they danced in the breeze to the musical chirps of the birds perched in a large oak near the rear of the yard. It had been twelve years since he had walked outside without his hands in cuffs and a whip to his back. He had almost forgotten just how beautiful life and the world around could be. He had grown used to cold stone walls and heartless guards. For twelve years the screams of dying men, their minds overcome by madness, had been the sound to which he fell asleep at night. His whole world had been consumed by ugliness. But looking at the stunning colors displayed before him and the heavenly glow in his wife's eyes, everything in the world seemed perfectly in order.

"It's beautiful." he said, slipping an arm around Cassie's middle. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I try me best to keep it that way." she said, wrapping her arms about him. "Come on, there's a gazebo under the tree."

Keeping a tight hold on each other, they followed the stone pathway to the rear of the yard, where, sitting under the large oak tree that towered over all else, there sat a decorative wooden gazebo that housed a bench swing. They sat down on the bench together, steadying it and jumpstarting it into a gentle swing. For awhile they sat in silence. Cassie had her arms wrapped tightly around Sirius, as if she might lose him should she let go. Though not at all oblivious to her embrace, Sirius was more concentrated on the blue sky and the greenery than he was on her. But his attention quickly shifted as she sighed on his name. He looked down only to be entranced by a pair of murky brown eyes that were staring expectantly up at him, eyes that no matter how many times he saw them still managed to make him feel at peace, loved, and whole.

"Sirius, If you don't want to say anything, it's fine. But, I really want to know what happened," she said, closing her eyes and burying her face in his shoulder, "What happened to you the night the Potters died? And everyday afterward."

Sirius quickly averted his gaze into the clouds, watching them shift lazily in the breeze. The betrayal, the loss, and the pain that he had been through was nothing that he thought he should share with her. It would only upset her, and himself. In a way, he still had trouble looking back and seeing what he had lived through as a reality. He couldn't help but think of it as some sick nightmare that he had been sleeping through for the past twelve years, one of the seemingly eternal nightmares that take on a life of their own, refusing to end until you tear your eyelids open and scream in the night.

"I wouldn't mind talking about it. In fact, maybe talking about it would make it more of a reality," he laughed in spite of himself, "I still can't believe I survived so long. But, none of it is anything you want to hear."

She looked sternly up into his wandering eyes. She then cupped his chin in her hand, her long fingers brushing across his pale lips. She gently turned him about to face her, looking him straight in the eye, willing herself not to glaze her eyes with tears. "It is something I want to hear. Something I need to hear. Please, Sirius."

After a brief pause in which he tried to organize his memories, Sirius launched himself into the tale Cassie requested he tell. He explained how Peter had been chosen as the Potters' Secret Keeper because he himself was too obvious a choice, and how he and the Potters thought it best that no one have any knowledge of the last minute decision. He told of how he had gone to the Potters' house the night of their deaths, giving his motorbike up to Hagrid so that he could take Harry safely away from the scene. And then there was his encounter with Peter, who he had drawn a dagger as he was cornered in a London alleyway, severing his own finger and blowing up the entire street behind him as he transformed into his animagus form to escape, leaving Sirius with all the blame on his shoulders. Lastly, Sirius painfully recalled his time in Azkaban. The first few nights had been the worst; the walls seemed to be creeping closer to him every time he blinked, while the shadows shape shifted into evil forms that swirled across the room, laughing at his misfortune. He had become somewhat of an insomniac, unable to sleep because of the constant screams and moans from the inmates down the hall. Eventually, he grew accustomed to the horrid loneliness and cruelty of prison and trained himself to drown out the sights, sounds, and smells that he dreaded. He wrapped himself in a calm acceptance that many of the wizard guards and visiting Ministry officials mistook for cold-heartedness. He had once asked the Minister for his newspaper as he stood talking with one of the guards outside of his cell, only to have it thrown through the bars at him, the Minister's face an ugly mix of fear and contempt, the fear managing to stand out much clearer than its counterpart. And, of course, there was that fateful night where he had transformed himself into his dog form and wiggled through the barred windows of his cell into the darkness, a clean getaway.

"I snuck in Hogwarts afterwards. Remus should have told you what happened in the Shrieking Shack already," he concluded, "If it wasn't for Harry and Hermione I'd be a dead man. They flew a hippogriff up to the tower they threw me in after they found me knocked out by that dementor. And now, well, here I am."

Cassie couldn't think of anything comfortingly appropriate to say as he ended, her mind in complete disbelief at all he had been through. "Sirius, I can't imagine having to go through that. I really can't. I'm just glad you're here, fugitive or not."

Sirius stood up so quickly that Cassie believed she had somehow touched a nerve of his, making him want to escape her presence. But he was smiling as he turned about to face her, extending his hand and helping her to rise from her seat. Their eyes locked as he took both her hands in his own, running his thumbs over their smooth backs.

" Cassie, I never thought that I'd see you again and have you think of me as anything more than just a lost friend. I didn't think you would still---I mean--I thought--" he stumbled miserably.

"You didn't think I'd still love you. You thought that I'd be remarried, have a couple children. You thought that all these years I thought you were a traitor who deserved to rot away in prison. You thought I'd hate you."

He nodded sadly. "That's exactly what I thought until a couple days ago. I couldn't believe it when Remus told me…well, told me that you still loved me."

"I do love you." she said earnestly.

" I love you, too." he said, and without giving it a second thought, he leaned in and kissed her full on the lips.

Cassie didn't hesitate to return the gesture. She permitted his tongue a few passes over her lips before she parted them, allowing his tongue to mingle harmoniously with her own. It was bliss that neither had experienced since they had seen each other twelve years prior, a feeling that both were reluctant to conclude. The kiss's end was mutual, with both partners pulling out of it together. The world seemed to stand still as Sirius kissed the soft flesh of Cassie's neck, feeling her sigh as it rattled up into her throat.

His eyes sprang open as her soft sigh turned into a shrill intake of air, which was accompanied by a sharp snapping sound and her hips colliding with his own. Giving a startled leap, she rushed to stand behind him, planting her hands firmly on his broad shoulders. Sirius laughed as he saw that floating behind where she had stood was a sopping wet dish cloth, one that had apparently struck her hard across the backside. Cassie dropped her head limply down onto his shoulder, prolonging his light laughter.

"Well," she said, looking him the eye as the dish cloth zoomed back toward the house and through the ajar back door, "Dinner's ready."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Warning** If you're uncomfortable with sexually explicit scenes, don't read this chapter. Don't say I didn't warn you. _

_Prisoner_

_---------------------_

When they arrived back in the kitchen they found the table already set for them, with the food placed neatly onto platters at its center and two upturned glasses flanking a fresh bottle of wine. Sirius, who had survived for years on food that had driven him to physical sickness his first week in prison, ate heartily, loving the feel of the wine as it slid silkily down his throat. Cassie on the other hand allowed more wine than food into her system, suddenly feeling very little urge to fill her stomach, which sat without protest. Once he had achieved his fill, Sirius leaned back in his chair and heaved a greatly satisfied sigh.

"Full?" she questioned him with a smile playing across her lips.

"Can hardly breathe." he replied, joining her in a laugh.

Cassie then took her wand from her pocket and gave it a swift flick that instructed everything but their glasses and the nearly empty wine bottle to sweep from the table and remove themselves of food before sailing into the sink for a washing. Sirius and Cassie lifted their glasses from the table as the dishcloth that had smacked Cassie reappeared to give the table a quick once-over. It tapped the wine bottle impatiently, and after Sirius had lifted it, allowing the cloth to wipe clean the area underneath, the cloth sped away and threw itself into the cabinet under the sink.

Cassie then set her elbow down on the table, resting her head in her palm. She peered at Sirius from across the table with an unintentionally seductive smile, swirling the remainder of her wine around in its glass. He smiled in return, feeling wonderfully in love, yet simultaneously terrible. He felt terrible that he had not been there to see her through the past twelve years, terrible that he was not there to give her the family and love that she deserved, and terrible for being so thick as to not have asked her sooner how her life had been, seeing as she had already requested he rattle on about his own misery.

"So, Cassie," he began, twirling his glass around by its slender neck, "Why did you decide to move out here?"

"Well," she said uncomfortably, uncertain about how he would react to letting him know that she had sold their London abode to escape the negative attention that her marriage to a supposed criminal had created, "After everyone on the block found out that you….well, _thought _that you had become a murderer, and Death Eater for the McAllisters," the McAllisters had been the only other wizarding family that resided on the street on which they had lived, "everyone started treating me a bit differently. The McAllisters wouldn't even look at me, neither would some of our other neighbors…And some seemed to think that I constantly needed someone to comfort me…And then the Ministry and reporters from the Prophet started popping over…so I sold the house and moved out here. They haven't bothered me since, strangely. I thought someone from the Ministry would have been over once they knew you'd escaped, but no one has."

"Oh," he said softly, not surprised that he was the root cause of her move.

"But I really do like it out here," she continued, noting his fallen expression, "It's a lot more peaceful."

Sirius nodded listlessly. Even though she was being entirely truthful with him, she did indeed love living in Scotland than the crowded suburbs of London, Sirius still had trouble deciding for himself whether or not she was being truthful or if she was lying just to keep him from feeling guilty. "Do you still work for St. Mungos?" he asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Of course." she said, "They trained me in nursing right after you left."

Right after they were married, Cassie had received a job at St. Mungo's wizarding hospital as a receptionist. It was her job to sort incoming and outgoing mail, as well as to direct visitors to the rooms of their patient loved ones, handle patient records, and patient billing. It was tedious job that she was glad to have broken up by the duties of a nurse. Besides having to complete her usual receptionist duties, she also had to assist the Healers and answer patient assistance calls when there were no other nurses available. True, by becoming a nurse she had willingly thrown herself into random bouts of blood and other unpleasantness, but she was glad that she was able to help others in more important ways than taking their payment at the desk.

"That's great."

"Yeah," she continued, " It's bloody work sometimes, but its worth it when you get to see a patient walk out the door healed. I know that probably sounds corny…" they shared in a laugh, "But it's true. I should be getting these out of the way…"

Cassie then got to her feet and scooped up the empty glasses and wine bottle. It was hard for Sirius to tell whether it was the wine or the simple fact that he had been starved of human contact for an unnatural amount of time that directed his next actions. Watching her deposit the glasses in the sink and place the bottle on the counter for later recycling, Sirius rose from his seat and moved to stand behind her, whispering her name into her ear. She whipped around looking startled, backing herself up into the kitchen counter. Her hand went up to rest over her heart as her mouth curled into a smile.

"You scared me," she said softly.

"Sorry," he apologized both in subsequence and in advance for his actions, "But I have to."

A puzzled expression flashed across Cassie's brow before Sirius seized her by the hips and lifted her up to seat her on the counter. She let out an "oh!" in surprise as he roughly set her down, glad to see that she apparently had no intentions of smacking him. On the contrary she was beaming and more than willing to go along with him. She immediately parted her legs for him to move between them, enabling him to stand close enough to reach her lips in a lover's longing kiss. Slowly, he slid her skirt up to reveal the whole of her legs, allowing him to run a hand along the milky smooth skin of her inner thigh. He halted in mid-stroke as she abruptly reached down to cup his manhood, but immediately started up again, reaching so high on her leg that he could feel a slight rush of warmth course over his skin. Cassie smiled into their kiss as she felt him grow hard at her lusty touch. As his excitement increased, his kisses became rougher, as did the strokes of her leg, so rough in fact that they were becoming almost painful. Placing her hands on his shoulders and giving him a gentle push, she broke their kiss.

"The bedroom is down the hall," she panted. She joined him in a mischievous smile as he helped her down from her perch. She then seized his hand and led him down the hall to her room, where he gently pinned her down on the bed.

Once they had stripped all material barriers that separated them, Sirius took himself in hand and slipped inside of her, loving the feel of her inner warmth as it wrapped tightly around him. Holding her down by the hip so she couldn't buck against him, Sirius began to move in the slow, tender way that he knew she loved. Her first climax was pleasurably, almost unbearably intense, making her cry out and bury her nails into his back. It was when he felt her reach this height that he released her, allowing her to move with him as his motions became faster and more forceful. Eventually their bodies fell in sync and they met each other thrust for passionate thrust. When Sirius reached the height of his pleasure, his entire body went rigid and he dropped the whole of his weight carefully down atop his wife, who ran her fingers gently through his dark hair. After he had regained a bit of his composure, he managed to roll off of her and onto his back, slipping an arm around Cassie's shoulder as she moved to snuggle up next to him, resting her head on his chest. For awhile they laid in silence, exhausted yet satisfied, trying to slow the rapid beating of their hearts and to catch their spent breaths.

"Sirius?" Cassie broke the silence, receiving a grunt in acknowledgement, "Do you still remember the first time we did this?"

He smiled as he was engulfed in the tender memory of their wedding night where they had stole each other of their innocence. He found it odd that even after sixteen years he could still clearly recall how he had laid her down for the first time, left in complete awe at the sight of her naked form. Her hair had been splayed beautifully across her pillow, outlining her smiling face and radiant eyes. Her muffled yelp as he entered her and his own virgin moans were still clear in his mind.

" Of course I do." he said, briefly touching his lips to hers, "How could I forget?" he replied, immediately falling back into various other memories of their honeymoon, a lovely two weeks which they spent together in scenic India. "I love you, Cassie."

"Love you, too," she said sleepily, closing her eyes. "Always will."

Sirius waited until he was sure she was soundly asleep before carefully slipping out from underneath her and getting himself dressed again. After he was fully clothed, he took a seat on the edge of the bed, one half of his brain feeling rather guilty about what he was about to do, while the other half, though still reluctant, felt that his actions were justified and that she would understand completely. He didn't want to leave her like this, but he had no choice. He had put her in enough danger just by being with her for the past few hours as it was. But just as he was about to leave her, Sirius' attention was caught by a stack of what looked like photo albums that were piled messily atop one another at the bottom of the slightly ajar closet.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, Sirius opened the closet fully to pick up one of the albums. He sat down on the bed again with it in his lap, debating amongst himself whether or not to look at its contents. He was a bit concerned that it might hold images which would wrench his heart, making it all the more difficult for him to leave the woman he had just recently been reunited with. Curiosity got the best of him.

Opening the album, just barely able to see its pictures under the fading late summer light seeping through the windows, Sirius was greeted first by pictures of his wedding. It was rather strange looking down at the younger, more handsome, smiling version of himself. Azkaban had robbed him of most of his looks, which he had miserably noted upon looking in Cassie's bathroom mirror. The younger version of Cassie, who was smiling and waving up at him alongside her new husband, was forever dazzling in her long white gown, holding an enormous bouquet of white flowers. They were standing in a churchyard, all around them leaves turning colors and falling from their branches. Sirius could distinctly remember taking that picture; it had been insufferably cold that day and they had already taken so many outdoor pictures that his hands had begun to shake and turn a shade of frosty red.

Sirius turned the page to see Cassie and himself standing on the steps of the church along with the rest of their wedding party. Save his aunt Andromeda and her husband Ted, all of the people in the party were either their close friends, members of the old Order of the Phoenix, or members of Cassie's family. Standing behind Sirius in the picture was his best man James Potter, while standing behind Cassie was James' then fiance, the maid of honor Lily Evans. Among the crowd Sirius also noted the presence of Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Frank Longbottom and his wife Alice. He had a stabbing urge to cut Peter out of the picture, but managed to restrain himself.

Sirius browsed over a few more pages of the album, (pictures of their honeymoon, Lily and James' wedding, and a section of various Christmas parties,) before stowing the book back atop its mates. Feeling worse than he had in months, Sirius closed the closet door and took a seat next to his sleeping wife, who had rolled over to lay on her stomach. Giving a few stokes to her hair, he bent down and kissed her bare shoulder and cheek in farewell.

"Goodbye, Cass." he said into her unhearing ear before leaving her for the second time.

Cassie awoke the next morning with a start, giving a sharp sigh and sitting bolt upright. She immediately grabbed for the blanket pooled in her lap and brought it to shield her bare chest. In a way she was not surprised to find herself alone, though a little disappointed that the man who had loved her the night before was not at her side. She might have thought that he was still in the house, but thought better of getting her hopes up. In her heart she knew he was gone. For whatever stupid, noble reason, he was gone. Again. As she turned to swing her legs out of bed, Cassie saw that sitting on her night table was a short piece of parchment, scribbled on with a very familiar handwriting. She swiftly grabbed it and read it at eye-level.

_Cassie,_

_I'll have left by the time you read this. I'm sorry, but I can't stay with you any longer than I already have. God forbid the Ministry should decide to investigate you and find me in your company. We'd be sharing a cell in Azkaban. I couldn't take that chance. You're better off without me for the time being. Hopefully we'll see each other again very soon. Until then, I'll keep in touch. And Cassie, thank you. Thank you for everything. Sometimes I think I don't deserve you. _

_Love, _

_Sirius_

Cassie wiped away the tears that were wetting her cheeks. Tossing his note aside, she fell back down into the blankets, feeling both physically and mentally drained. She loved him, but he was killing her. Suddenly she felt lonelier than she ever had in her life.


	7. Chapter 7

The night was growing old as Cassie apparated into a rather grimy, rundown portion of London. The sickly glow of the streetlamp that she had appeared under was the only source of light, for the sun had set hours ago and all the windows on the surrounding houses were dimmed. The streetsign across the road hardly fell into the weak light, making its large white print reading Grimmauld Place decipherable only by a quick mutter of "Lumos." Keeping her wand aglow she made her way stealthily down the block, the number of the particular house she was looking for still fresh in her mind. Though it was protected by various secretive spells, Cassie was still able to find the house, as Professor Dumbledore had revealed its location to her the previous night.

Number thirteen Grimmauld Place, residence of the late Mrs. Black and now the headquarters for the new Order of the Phoenix sat grubby and dank in the middle of the block. Not a light was visible through the windows, which were glazed over with a thick layer of filth. Cassie ascended the house's steps cautiously, all too aware that she was in danger of falling since many of the bricks she was toddling on were coming loose and breaking beneath her feet. She gave a forceful rap on the door and pulled her cloak tighter around her in the unusually chilly August darkness, her hood keeping her face shadowed against the yellowy glow of the light that was suspended from the door's overhang.

The door swung open seemingly on its own accord, and after she had stepped over the threshold swung shut behind her. She would have thought it was a spell that operated the door and would not have bothered to turn around had her ears not picked up a slight grumbling noise piercing the silence of the otherwise silent hallway. Looking back behind her she saw that a house elf was leaning up against the door and lending her an evil eye. He was an elderly creature with grubby, wrinkly skin and sagging jowls. A dishrag that looked as though it had not been washed in over a decade served as his loincloth.

"Half-blood filth…Soiling poor mistress's noble house…" he muttered, pressing his back deep into the wall and slinking over and past its corner until he was out of Cassie's direct range. He then backpedaled his way down the center of the hallway and into a doorway at its end from where a steady glow of candlelight was spilling.

A bit creeped out but not in the least deterred by the elf's strange behavior, Cassie continued down the unkempt hallway, keeping her head low and occasionally weaving from side to side so not to come in contact with the many cobwebs. In trying to avoid touching one that was suspended from the rusting chandelier, Cassie stepped to her right and in doing so brushed up against a thick curtain that was positioned just shy of a rickety stairwell, an action that was immediately followed by the curtains flapping open and an onslaught of murderous screams blaring in her ear.

"Filth! Vile scourge! My traitor's half-blood whore!" the whining, lamenting screams echoed throughout the hall, clouding Cassie's ears with a painful ringing.

She stepped away and placed her back flat against the opposite wall to observe that it was a portrait that had been veiled by the curtains she had disturbed. The woman that it pictured, who would have been supremely gorgeous had her mouth not been stretched wide in screams, was seated in a Queen Anne chair. She was a slight woman with a paper-white complexion that looked very eerie against her charcoal hair and blood-red lipstick. Cassie had only seen the woman in person once while she was still alive, but recognized her immediately.

Cassie had met Mrs. Black, Sirius' mother, for both the first and last time the summer before she and Sirius had become a couple. Cassie had been sitting with her mother in the Leaky Cauldron after they had finished searching for Cassie's needed school supplies when Mrs. Black had walked in with her son. Sirius had noticed Cassie right away and greeted her and her mother warmly. Mrs. Black stopped alongside her son and offered only a cold, distant nod. She stood aloof as Sirius made small talk with them, only really coming alive when Cassie's father came into the picture after concluding his conversation with Tom the bartender. In his jeans and plaid shirt he stood out worse than a sore thumb, a lone muggle in a sea of magic. As he greeted Mrs. Black, extending his hand for her to shake, she grabbed Sirius by the collar and dragged him out of the pub, ordering that he should have no more involvement with "that little half-blooded wench". It was the following summer, after he had Cassie had realized their love for each other, that Sirius had run away from home and sought refuge in the home of the Potters.

Cassie had poised herself to spring forward and quickly pull the curtains back over the wailing woman, but before she could do so the order of "Shut up, you old hag!" came floating down the hallway, accompanied by the tall, pallid figure of Sirius Black. Letting his wife go seemingly unnoticed, he stepped in front of her and heaved the curtains shut, which prompted Mrs. Black to lower her terrible screams down to low, disapproving sobs and moans.

"Just can't get the damned thing off the wall," he said, turning about and coursing a hand through his hair, "One hell of a sticking charm."

He said this while averting his eyes to the slowly crumbling ceiling, but once all the words had fled his lips he brought them to lock with Cassie's, his warm smile gradually spreading from ear to ear.

"Hi Cassie," he said simply, reaching out and removing Cassie of her hood.

"Hello Sirius," she replied, her own smile coming to overtake her face.

After a moment of looking deep into each other's eyes Cassie sprang to life and threw her arms around Sirius' neck, a delightful shiver shooting down her spine as he took her around the waist and buried his face into the curve where her shoulder met her neck. He gave a sinful smile into her flesh and she a gasp as he enhanced his grip to lift her clean off her feet and spin her three times around in greeting. Once he set her down again he pressed his lips to hers in a hearty, almost suffocating kiss.

"I've missed you," he said, resting his forehead on hers.

"I've missed you, too," she said, "It's been too long."

The last time Cassie had seen her husband was a month prior when Harry had emerged from the Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament only to announce that Lord Voldemort had risen again. Terribly grim circumstances indeed. Since that time Sirius had been living quietly at the home of Remus Lupin, which was just as well since the Minister was now very intent on keeping an eye on Cassie since their meeting at Hogwarts the previous month, incase she should decide to join her husband in the circle of Death Eaters, as he had put it. It was entirely too long a time for two people, separated for over a decade and only reunited collectively for an hour or so, to be apart. But Cassie was at least glad that the past week he had spent at Grimmauld Place in the company of the Weasleys, Hermione Granger, Remus Lupin, and others, and having to eat Mrs. Weasley's cooking had put some weight on him so he no longer looked and felt like a decaying corpse.

"Yes, it has," he said, giving her forehead a kiss before releasing her from what had started out as a gentle embrace but had grown somehow into a loving death-grip. "But everyone's waiting for us in the kitchen. Come on."

Taking her hand and wrapping it around his middle, Sirius moved to escort his wife into the kitchen, but before they could so much as take a single step, there came the smart remark of, "Not everyone's in the kitchen. We're not allowed, remember?"

Looking to the stairs they found that sometime between the beginning of Mrs. Black's wailing and their emotional greeting the four youngest Weasley children had slunk down from their rooms to perch themselves on the landing above. Fred, (who had undoubtedly been the smart mouth), and his brother George where wearing grins similar to the clichéd cat who swallowed the canary, and Cassie guessed that they had been summoned down by Mrs. Black's wails just in time to see Sirius give her that powerful kiss.

"You know very well that you're not allowed into the meetings," Sirius said, "And wipe those grins off your faces. Like you've never seen a kissing couple before, Misters Weasley."

Even with the smile that had begun to creep onto Sirius' mouth with his last comment and his obvious joking, the two immediately did as he said, making Ginny and Ron snort with suppressed giggles.

"But why can't we be part of the Order?" Fred questioned. "I think we're old enough."

"And brave enough." George added.

Fred nodded. "And willing enough."

"And--"

Sirius waved a hand to cut them off. "No, you're not old enough. Willing and brave maybe, but certainly not old or able, or wise enough. And that's that. We've been through this already, boys."

Sirius and Cassie then continued on into the kitchen, leaving the twins to scowl evilly at their backs. Sitting at the long kitchen table were the rest of the new Order of the Phoenix. Molly Weasley was the only one standing, placing the last pot of food in the center of the table before taking her seat next to her husband. Some of the other faces Cassie recognized from the old Order, including Remus Lupin, Alastor Moody, Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore, who was seated at the far head of the table. Many more of the faces were new ones. Standing out among of the newcomers was a witch with bright magenta hair who was sitting next to Remus, and a black, bald-headed wizard with a large hoop earring through his left ear whom was seated across from her.

"The gang's all here now," Sirius announced, raising his voice high above the chatter. All at once the dozens of eyes that had paid them no mind upon their entering turned to face them, seemingly in unison. Most of the turning eyes were accompanied by dumb, automatic smiles. The only ones to truly react to Cassie's entering were Molly and Arthur Weasley, Remus Lupin, and the witch with the brightly colored hair. Remus reached her first and immediately engaged her in a friendly hug, giving way to the Weasleys after their embraced ended. Molly gave her a bear hug, an action that Cassie perceived as overemotional and the act of a very stressed woman. Remus then escorted Molly back to her seat, bloodshot eyes and all, before reclaiming his own chair. Arthur gave Cassie's hand a firm shake and a pat on the back. The magenta-haired witch stepped up and shook her hand furiously.

"I believe you've met my second cousin, Nymphadora, Cass. Nymphadora, I think you've met my wife, Cassie," Sirius introduced them, earning himself a scornful glare from the very colorful witch.

"It's Tonks, Sirius. Tonks. And when on earth have I met her? I don't even remember meeting you, unless you count today."

Cassie on the other hand could recall meeting Tonks after digging briefly around in her hidden memory banks. Tonks had only been a tot clinging to her mother Andromeda's hand at the time they had met, which was a little while after Cassie and Sirius' wedding.

"Tonks, I remember you. You were so little last time I saw you…Sirius, I don't think she'd remember meeting me. That had to be at least twenty years ago,"

"You're confusing me now…But it's great to meet you…again, I guess." she laughed, then scurried back to her seat to allow Cassie and her husband to take their seats, which were located right next to each other at the left hand of Albus Dumbledore.

All chatter then ceased as Dumbledore rose from his seat. He was the perfect embodiment of authority, head held high, standing tall and proud while his wise, kind eyes quietly scanned the people seated before him. Unlike many of those seated before him there was a definite calmness in his behavior. His eyes were well rested, his hands steady, his tone even and unwavering as he spoke.

"It seems that we have all found our way here," he noted, "Very good, very good. But there shall be no serious business tonight. No, we are only here in greeting. To come together and get to know those who were not here the last time around. There are many new faces, I'm glad to see. Let's have the conversation be light, and not speak of ill things. There will be plenty of time to speak of that. And now, please, let us enjoy dinner courtesy of one, Mrs. Molly Weasley." he concluded, smiling and raising his wine glass in Mrs. Weasley's direction, an action in which the rest of the gathering followed suit.

All at the table took Dumbledore's words to heart, and kept the matter of the Dark Lord and his deeds out of conversation, but surely not completely out of mind. The chatter was definitely not as prevalent as it should have been, possibly because, as Cassie thought, many members were still dwelling on the dark thoughts that they have shoved in the back of their brains for the time being. Their mouths spoke of Quidditch, magical mishaps, and the antics of their children, but their minds thought on the taboos Dumbledore had set forth. Cassie was no exception. Through the silent holes in her conversation with Sirius, Remus, and the colorful Tonks, Cassie couldn't help herself but to remember the previous month's events. She recalled how she had thrown her arms around her godson in a frantic, motherly hug. Her godson who was drenched with blood, sweat, and tears, and brought news that the Dark Lord had risen again.

After dinner was through, ending in a wide array of rich deserts with a side speech by Dumbledore that thanked everyone for being present, Cassie stood at the front door arm in arm with Sirius, seeing off everyone they had dined with that would not be spending the night.

"Good night, Professor," Cassie said as Professor McGongall stepped past them and out the door and into the night, doffing her hat and biding them both a wonderful evening in response.

Remus and Tonks were next to reach the doorway. Sirius and Remus hugged each other in a way only best friends and brothers could ever manage. When they were through, Cassie took her turn at hugging the werewolf, finding herself wondering when the next full moon might have been, for the falling night had brought on a rather sickly, pale look in his face.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay, Remus? We've got plenty of rooms," Sirius offered him, "They might not exactly be cleaned out yet, but…." He had seen the haggard look on Remus's face as well, and was wary on letting him out into the night.

"No, no," Remus said politely, "That's all right. I'll be fine." He gave a knowing smile, reading the worry on his friend's faces. "Moon's not that high in the sky yet. Still have my wits about me…"

At his last sentence Tonks looked at him with some confusion rippling across her brow. Confusion, but also mixed in with what Cassie read as both heavy interest and concern. There was high color in her cheeks. Cassie couldn't help but smile at the young witch. Take away the slight puzzlement and she had seen that look a thousand times before. She herself had most definitely worn it at least once in her life. Remus and Tonks then said their last goodbyes and walked out into the night.

"Ah, the match made in Hell, you two," Sirius and Cassie both turned from seeing Remus out the door to spot none other then Severus Snape approaching them, pulling on his traveling cloak with a quick, swishy twirl.

" Shove off, you git," Sirius snapped bitterly, but Snape didn't stop to listen. He stepped through the doorway and out of the house, not paying Sirius any attention, obviously wanting his words to ring loud and be the last.

With Snape's departure the house was empty of all those not planning to stay, so Sirius shut the door with a forceful poke at its middle, then locked it with a bit of magic. He spun about to find his wife making her way back in the direction of the kitchen. He caught up to her in a few quickened strides, passing up the stairs and the now silent portrait of his late mother. He took Cassie around the middle and laid his head down on her shoulder as she walked, trying to keep in step with her.

"And where are you going?" he asked, looking up at her with the best puppy-dog eyes he could manage.

"To help Molly clean up the mess we left her with in the kitchen," she replied, deliberately not looking into his eyes.

"Not planning on leaving me for home afterward, are you?" he said, playfully, stepping out in front of her and stopping her dead in her tracks.

"Now, why would I do that?" she asked rhetorically, letting his smile infect her. Her own grin spread her cherry lips to slightly reveal her teeth; that sly, roguish little smile that brought the color into her pale cheeks and a sparkle into her dark eyes. That little smile that she had first introduced to him on their wedding night.

"Good," he said, taking her into his arms where she stayed limply, her head propped up on his shoulder, her own arms squished to her sides by her husband's. "Because I want to keep you up all night, if you'll let me."

She laughed and inched just a bit closer to him, " Of course I'll let you. That's a silly thing to say. I want you to keep me up."

And just for a moment she thought that it was all a bit awkward. Times were dark, just as dark as they could really ever possible become, and there they were, lost in their physical and emotional love for each other, just as they would be if everything were right in the world. Just as they would have been if Sirius had never gone to Azkaban, just as they would have been if James and Lily were still alive and Lord Voldemort had never existed. But it came to her then that love was constant, and that the truest kind could overshadow even the darkest of situations. She loved Sirius with all her heart, and dark times or not, she was going to keep on loving him, and she knew he would do the same.

Instead of keeping her word to Mrs. Weasley and helping with the cleanup, she instead took the path that Sirius had put before her and traveled with him to the upper stories of the house. It turned out to be a very pleasurable, sleepless night for them indeed.


End file.
